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Feb 12

Written by: Greg Runyon
2/12/2010 7:44 AM 


I get invited to a party a couple of times a year that I'm always tempted to—but never quite sure I should—attend.  This invitation is for one of those candle parties that I guess are somewhat popular.

I'll disclose right off the bat that I generally hate these kinds of parties.  Not just those of the candle variety, but any of these “come to my house and I'll have someone try to sell you stuff” parties.  This is not to say that I won't attend, or won't buy.  I have done so in the past on both counts, and I suppose I will do so again at some point in an effort to be friendly or sociable.  And every once in a while, you get a product you like out of the deal.

The thing is, the whole event is rigged, and I get it, that's why it works for whatever company is having their products hawked.  You're sort of beholden to whomever invited you to listen politely to a sales pitch (and isn't that at the top of everyone's “bucket list?”), and then you sort of feel obligated to buy something so your host(s) can get their extra bonuses for hosting a party at which their friends are extorted on their behalf.

Yes, it's a cynical, curmudgeonly way to look at it.  Hi, I'm Greg, nice to meet you.

Here's the reason, though, that despite my cynical, curmudgeonly attitude toward such parties that I'm tempted to attend this particular one:  The invitation comes to me at the radio station.  And when I say “comes to me” I mean it is delivered to me, despite the fact that it's not addressed to me.  It's addressed to one “Jessica Runyon” at the radio station's address.  Surprisingly, there is no one here named Jessica, much less Jessica Runyon.  Point of fact, I don't believe I know a Jessica Runyon, though I'm sure one exists somewhere, but I have no idea how that name would get connected to the radio station's address.

But since the card got passed on to me, and I share half a name with this mystery woman, I figure I am indeed invited to this party.  I'm tremendously tempted to show up at the host's house next time one of these parties comes around just to see what the reaction would be.  The tricky part is, the card asks for an RSVP via phone, so I'm going to have to find an accomplice (female) to make the RSVP call for “Jessica.”  I'm guessing, given the goofball girls I work with, it won't be hard to find someone to make that call.

Of course, the flaw in this plan is that despite being a cynic and a curmudgeon, I'd feel guilty crashing that party and not buying anything, so once again I'd be roped in.  The good news is, according to this card here, I'll get two dozen tea lights FREE with each $40 purchase I make.  Such a deal!





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