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Jun 2

Written by: Greg Runyon
6/2/2011 3:51 PM 

A few years ago, before I was on Facebook, I realized that I'd better get a Facebook profile so I could spy on prospective job applicants to make sure they aren't complete idiots, or if they are, at least they have the decency to not make it obvious by posting pictures of their drug use or what have you. It came in handy on more than one occasion. I set up the profile with a fake—and what I thought was a rather goofy—name, simply to amuse myself while I did my spying. I attached it to an email address that I use for junk mail, shopping, et cetera. I rarely check that email address. I happened to check it today.


I had forgotten all about that fake Facebook profile since I signed up on Facebook legitimately a couple of years ago and no longer had a need for a dummy account. But today when I went to clear out the accumulated junk from that email box, there was a message from Facebook telling me I had some people who wanted to be my (alter ego's) friend. I was jubilant! This non-person I invented was popular!


I plumbed the depths of my foggy brain to remember whatever stupid password I used when I set up this fake account, and after a couple of good tries, I nailed it! I gleefully set about accepting my friend requests, and then making a bunch of my own to other people based on suggestions from Facebook for people it thought I may know. I currently have 21 friends, mostly French people, though I seem to be doing well throughout Europe, with at least one obvious German and some guy named Salvio, which sounds Spanish or perhaps Italian. Oddly, enough, when I was receiving friend suggestions, I got one amongst all the Europeans for someone I actually already know in Cedar Rapids. How it connected the fake me, a bunch of Europeans, and her I have no idea. It did make me think, though.


It seems like I should continue to develop this new persona. I had a fake Twitter account for a while that I used to be silly and obnoxious. It got kind of boring. Perhaps this will be more fun. I guess we'll see. Since I haven't written a blog in like two months, though, you might get the impression that I'm a little busy these days, and you'd be right about that, so what are the odds that I'll find the time to amuse myself on a regular basis by logging into a fake Facebook profile and interacting with my fake French friends?


I just noticed, though, that I'm getting some correspondence from folks. One girl wants to know when I added an 'e' to my name. I don't know what to respond, particularly since she asked in French. I guess I'll have to run something through a translator and see if I can keep her as my friend for a while before she catches on. Some other girl asked me “Ca va mon chou?” which, when I ran it through the translator came back “Is ca going my cabbage?” What am I supposed to say? I'm sorry to hear that? Half past four? Yer darn tootin'?


This is going to be harder than I thought.


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