I feel like I’ve fallen through the rabbit hole. Or perhaps the Pony hole. Maybe I should stop using the word hole any more than absolutely necessary for the rest of this story.
You see, Facebook likes to suggest people that it thinks I may know so that I may add them as friends. I often see a lot of people suggested who are friends of friends, people I may have heard of but don’t really know and so forth; no big surprise. Last night though, it took a very interesting turn.
Facebook suggested I friend someone called “Tee Tee,” who works at The Pony East in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Now I may not be the swiftest boat in the harbor, but without doing any research whatsoever I had a pretty good feeling that The Pony East would turn out to be an establishment where women disrobe and prance about much to the delight of the goons (and occasional goon-ettes) in attendance. It is indeed that. And from her profile picture it would appear likely that our young heroine Tee Tee is a lady with excellent flexibility who is perfectly comfortable hanging upside down from a brass pole, though that’s just conjecture on my part.
Far as I know, unless I’ve been subject to some kind of abduction that has since been expunged from my memory, I’ve not been within 100 miles of Cape Girardeau in my life. So how is it that Facebook thinks I might know this girl? I don’t actually expect to ever answer that question, it’s just fascinating to me how some computer somewhere decided that Tee Tee and I might just be acquainted.
Not wanting to seem standoffish, I of course requested to be her friend. As I imagine she probably works quite late, I’m not surprised that I haven’t yet heard back, it being only noon as I write this. Sometime soon, this lovely girl, just trying to put food on the table by dancing on one, will awake to find that some creep is requesting to be her friend. And I bet she will be similarly perplexed as to how she may know me. Am I some trucker who just passed through Cape Girardeau on a break from puttin’ the hammer down to Shakey Town? Or maybe I’m a cop, probably in the Narcotics division, looking to sniff around the underworld of underpantsless women, the netherworld of the nether-regions, as is were.
Wanting to learn a bit more about my soon-to-be friend, I went to The Pony Club East’s website. Wouldn’t you know it? The Pony Club is so awesome that they have eight locations across this great nation of ours! I couldn’t find a profile of Tee Tee, but they did have a few other girls on there that I could get to know better. Unfortunately, all of their profiles said this: “Termination of protein synthesis in eukaryotes involves at least two polypeptide release factors (eRFs) – eRF1 and eRF3. The highly conserved translation termination factor eRF1 in Saccharomyces cerevisiae is encoded by the essential gene SUP45.” It would seem that The Pony Club is not only an establishment with naked ladies dancing, but they’re also working on the Human Genome Project in their spare time. Superb! Tee Tee’s Facebook page does say that she’s studying at Colorado Tech Online, and if she’s not at the top of her class, well I’d sure like to know who is!
I won’t be offended if Tee Tee doesn’t accept my friend request. In fact, it’s probably best she doesn’t, because if Facebook right now thinks I know strippers in Missouri, once Tee Tee and I are fast friends I’m sure I’ll start getting even weirder suggestions. Hit men in Honolulu? Felons in Fargo? This could get interesting.